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17 August 2007

and do you feel scared? i do.

we're not scared to lose it all, security throw through the wall
future dreams we have to realize
a thousand skeptic hands won't keep us from the things we plan
unless we're clinging to the things we prize

and do you feel scared? i do.
but i won't stop and falter
and if we threw it all away
things can only get better

treating today as though it was the last, the final show
get to sixty and feel no regret
it may take a little time, a lonely path, an uphill climb
success or failure will not alter it

and do you feel scared? i do.
but i won't stop and falter
and if we threw it all away
things can only get better

: things can only get better : howard jones

posted by paul at Fri 17 Aug 2007 at 10:11:54 EST (-05:00) | comments (0)

17 April 2007

those which are... are simply not.

i wish i could save away this feeling in a tiny glass vial that i would store in a secret place, perhaps on a cluttered shelf if i happened to have a cluttered shelf (the highest shelf and behind the clutter of course), and struggle to find upon remembering how so important and so intense and so explosive are the contents. i just finished watching a movie which made me remember that most of our problems are so trivial. those which seem overwhelming are not. those which cause worries should not. those which are... are simply not. so often i become burdened with the surface and forget the deepest. family. friends. love. happiness. i'm still struggling to find some of the deepest, but the feeling which unfortunately i was not able to capture in a glass vial and which now slowly seeps from me has helped. i think i was able to press just a bit of it into this rice papery page and i'll try my best not to forget.

i know two people who slay. josh and emily. they slay. last weekend i went to montreal for the c.o.m.a.4 electro noise festival and had a blast with terretron and a furry hood coat (what?! with thanks to kate) and an out of body experience with terrorfakt, a sledgehammer, and a bottle of red wine which emily bought for me. and i stayed in their hotel room and they were above.level.destruction. saw deftly, angela, andy, kyle, and ian, the most vicious person on this planet, although bri3n may rival his viciousness. met sonya and squid and kate who all inflict heavy damage. was crushed by cakebuilder and iszoloscope and so many others. and erika with a k, les misfits, should most certainly quit talking and turn around. i wish jen's feet hadn't been hurting her so badly and that alcohol had been able. the haze in ilhan's eyes when i turned around and saw him during terrorfakt and deftly's grinder and the few words with bri3n after the set. amazing.

tactical sekt. [avi video. 15mb.]

tactical sekt. [avi video. 10mb.]

josh is hard. [avi video. 9mb.]

cakebuilder. [avi video. 21mb.]

perfection plastic. [avi video. 13mb.]

most pics didn't come out, unfortunately. these were salvageable.

today i stood in boston's kenmore square for four hours watching and cheering on the runners of the 111th boston marathon. much of the feeling i had in new york came back in a flood. and the looks on the runner's faces as they approached the final mile. they trained for months for this one day and i'm certain this one day made all of those months utterly worthwhile. the day is gigantic and i can't recommend enough experiencing a similar one on either side of the barriers. something which operates on one of those deep levels happens on these days... something which knows nothing of the surface and only of the core... and these are the things which are most important.

runners through kenmore square. fenway park in the background. [avi video. 32mb.]

you don't need to tell me about sentence fragments. i already know. i designed them that way.

posted by paul at Tue 17 Apr 2007 at 02:53:49 EST (-05:00) | comments (0)

02 April 2007

which may be executed

in one month and with luck, for.great.justice will be reassembled and ready to ride. with the turn of the weather, i am missing the road. i have a plan inside of me which may be executed if i'm not yet working by may. while resources run low, my idleness has infused me with an insanity which can only be cured by removing the idleness.

in five days i will perform onstage with terretron at c.o.m.a.4 in montreal, quebec, canada. international. i'll be in montreal 06 april through 08 april.

in two days justice's modified engine cover should arrive.

yesterday i ran three miles.

six days ago i sent the engine cover to a machinist to be modified such that i'll be able to access the stator without removing the entire engine if it should fail in the future.

nine days ago josh and i deconstructed for.great.justice and succeeded in removing the engine cover to access the failed stator.

mission status in completeness:

. heal the broken stator in for.great.justice: 45%
. establish an intimate relationship with red wine: 5% [latest acquisition]
. transfer forty.five minutes of sound from my head to my computer: 25%
. find my bicycle and celebrate with a midnight ride: 10%
. cook a delicious meal for ten people: 5%
. qualify for the 2008 boston marathon: 0.1%

posted by paul at Mon 02 Apr 2007 at 19:34:44 EST (-05:00) | comments (0)

11 January 2007

the shell was crushing you

one song has controlled me for four days and its definitely worth mentioning that i've been more myself than ever for these days.

it was the height i grew
the weight the shell was crushing you
i've been around a few
tell me what you saw
i'll tell you what to

: gold lion, yeah yeah yeahs

it would take me several hours to write a few sentences about how certain music is able to control me at the deepest levels. someday maybe i'll write those sentences.

posted by paul at Thu 11 Jan 2007 at 05:49:04 EST (-05:00) | comments (0)

13 August 2006

now fully charged and ready

peroneal.jpg
[image source: http://www.footphysicians.com/footankleinfo/peroneal-tendon.htm. click this link for information related to my running injury: peroneal tendonitis.]

i'm code green to continue training for the marathon. despite the dull pain wrapping around the back of my lateral left ankle (which, i believe, is affecting me more mentally than physically), i'll be doing my best to ramp up my mileage during the next few weeks in order to get back on schedule. my podiatrist recommended i not exceed ten daily miles before my follow-up appointment on 05 september.

i'm currently in the planning stages of a six week motorcycle excursion from massachusetts to florida and back in september and october 2006, organized under heading recontrip 2006.01.[20060906.20061018]. destinations will include washington, dc, and reconbases in lewisville, nc; the villages, fl; and ligonier, pa. i neglected to report earlier that for.great.justice is now fully operational. after a kawasaki shop was unable to verify the problem, i decided to take on the task myself. thanks to help from several members of vn750.com, i diagnosed and repaired the charging system problem a few weeks ago and for.great.justice is now fully charged and ready for transport. stay tuned for updates on recontrip 2006.01.[20060906.20061018].

lastly, i'll be making an appearance onstage with terretron at the rhode island noise fest 2006 on saturday 02 september. terretron recently released its first album, wither, which includes nine tracks of hard hitting electrocore; the first pressing has been limited to 300 hand-numbered copies. ordering instructions and additional information can be found at terretron.com.

terretron.jpg

posted by paul at Sun 13 Aug 2006 at 03:51:36 EST (-05:00) | comments (0)